Bon Fires, Cuddly Pajamas and Angels

It was a nice, cool night tonight and Jim was home so after some catch in the backyard, he and Jimmy built a big fire in the fire pit.  Hopefully today was not a NO BURN day.  We had our crispy Christmas tree and some scrap wood to get rid of, the only thing missing were S'mores.  The Doodle loved being outside, watching the fire. (still can't figure out how to remove the damn date setting in the camera--because it is way off!)

Don't get freaked out when I mention this--and I know there are skeptics out there who will not even consider what I'm about to point out.  But, every so often, there are unexplainable orbs in our photographs.  You might say it's just a strange reflection caused by the flash, etc.  And sure that is all possible...but what if there was no flash?  In the 3rd picture above, toward the top right of the slider in the photo, can you see the perfect sphere of light?  No it is not the moon.

Consider for a moment that the circles you see here in these pictures are perhaps a spirit or an angel.  What if?  Jim took about 10 pictures tonight from different angles and from different perspectives and from different sides of the house and in at least 8 of the pictures appear an orb (or two or three).  The orbs are not in the same exact spot, they move around and their size varies as well. Can you see them?

Out of pure curiosity, I googled "sphere of light in photos".  It's a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE phenomenon.  There are thousands upon thousands of articles written from all kinds of different people about these strange balls of light that appear in photographs.  They are called orbs, angels, ghosts and spirits.  Wow.  Go ahead if you don't believe me.  Google it.  I double dog dare you.  You will get a little freaked out.  I like to believe that they are spirits.  I like to believe that they are people we lost and loved that are hanging around looking after us.  Jim's parents maybe?  Or my brother Tony?  Or his sister Jeanne?  Maybe my grandparents just popping in to say hi--the only way they can.  In the form of a ball of light.

Whatever these spectacular balls of light are, they're really cool.  And what's weird is that you can take pictures, one right after another without moving and they appear in only some.  Go ahead, give me a perfectly logical mathematical or scientific explanation as to a what they are, but I will continue to believe that they are our relatives checking in for a little visit.

Do you believe?

On a lighter, less-freakish note, the Doodle was nice and cuddly in his new pajamas tonight.  And I love it when he can tolerate his brother and cuddle while watching cartoons.  Jimmy is the best big brother he could ask for.

43,There I Said It

I turned 43 yesterday. 

Posting it here seems to make it official.  I'm 43 now. Although I don't feel 43. I feel more like 26 with lots of stress and responsibility.  I remember when 43 seemed ancient, like really old.

So, I had a nice birthday. Nothing super remarkable during the day except my mom made me French Breakfast Puffs which are my favorite.  I savored them with my freshly brewed coffee and the garage sale section of the local paper. Jim and Jimmy went riding and I had a caregiver for the Doodle so I headed out for some garage sales and antiquing at some of my favorite haunts.

Then I came home to a wonderful home-cooked Lasagna dinner which my mom lovingly made--for us and one of my dearest and oldest friends, Rosie and her family.  I've known Rosie since Junior High and it's been great to reconnect with her.  Dinner was relaxed and casual and fun to just hang out and visit. Every year my mom would make me and my brother Tony (who recently passed away) her famous lasagna. We watched some American Pickers and had some cheesecake for dessert.  After they left I watched The Real Housewives of Atlanta and went to bed early.

I got some great gifts--even Jim, who is known to be the worst shopper in the history of male shoppers, came through in the clutch.  He hit Safeway on his way home and came home with the movie about Facebook, The Social Network, Reese's Peanut Butter cups and $100 Macy's gift card! Whoot Whoot!  God Bless Safeway and the pressure from a persistent 11 year old.

The day was easy with no drama or trips to the emergency room to speak of, the best kind of birthday to have.

Here's What You Can Do With Your Agreement

At her request, I was considering signing a NonDisparagement Agreement with Dr. Griffith and stated that I would not initiate any disparaging remarks and that I would remove posts from my blog about her and try to have any other reports and complaints that I have filed and posted on various consumer websites and with government agencies removed, and although I was very, very clear with her what I was willing to sign--she continued to send me a Release of Liability/NonDisparagement/Confidentiality Agreement all rolled into one. 

Here's what I understand based on my findings in a legal dictionary, in general conversation "disparage" means to speak poorly about someone, but in a legal context "disparagement" involves a false statement.  My statements about Dr. Griffith have been anything but FALSE.  I have recounted my recollection of what has transpired with our appointment, court dates, and subsequent dealings with Dr. Griffith and I have included my opinion of her based on first hand-knowledge from personal experience.  My opinions, feelings and ideas about Dr. Griffith have been validated by several of her former patients and even well-respected doctors in her field.

For future reference Dr. Julie Griffith - so that you know the next time you try to get a former patient to sign a "Release" in exchange for money, here are the definitions so that you don't get them confused again:

Release of Liability:  A release gives up a right, such as releasing one from his/her liability for harm or damage that may occur or have occurred from performing under a contract, or participating in an activity or service.  The release acts as an assurance to the person requesting the release that they will not be subjected to litigation resulting from the signing party's informed and consensual acts.

Nondisparagement Agreement:  A provision in a contract requiring one or more parties to the agreement not to make negative statements about the other(s).

Confidentiality Agreement: A confidentiality agreement is an agreement between at least two persons that outlines confidential material, knowledge, or information that the parties wish to share for certain purposes. However, when access to the information is to be restricted from a third party a confidentiality clause is added. It is a contract through which the parties agree not to disclose information covered by the agreement.

So I was going to agree to stop initiating any negative comments about Dr. Griffith and I was going to agree to even remove things I have said--not retract--merely remove.  But that was not good enough.  She wanted to silence me and she wanted me to lie (if someone asked me about her or this). So NO.  Signing my rights away to her for a mere $1,000 balance is not worth it to me.  I will continue paying her the balance of the judgment from the NO VALUE consultation, knowing that the medications she prescribed to my son without a comprehensive physical which I believe caused him harm and that her business and billing practices are disturbing and unethical.

I will chalk this up to a learning experience. I will be much more careful trusting people put into positions of power and influence out of pure desperation on my part.

My Little Einstein

You can't see it very well in the picture but that is Einstein on Doodle's shirt.  Did you know it is said that Einstein was autistic?

And, I've heard a little nutty.

I just bought a book called The Einstein Syndrome, Bright Children Who Talk Late - By Thomas Sowell.  Can't wait to tear into that one.  I'll let you know how it is and what the heck he's talking about.

Doodle might not be able to talk, but he sure understands a lot.  I look at him sometimes and wonder what he's waiting for.  Then again, I don't want his first word to be a swear word.  But right now, I would gladly take one.

He'll be starting Kindergarten next August.  Do I think he's ready?  No.

Do I have hope?  Yes.  Mostly.

It's hard though when I think of how much catching up he has to do.  Will he ever be "caught up"?  The things kids learn in Kindergarten are so far beyond his capacity right now.  I'm hoping for a miracle.

He's 4 1/2 years old.  He can't write his name.  He doesn't know his numbers or alphabet.  He can't even sing the alphabet song.  He's not ready to learn to read yet.  He's still not potty trained.  So it scares me.

To me, he's still like having a Toddler.  He's stuck at about 2 years old right now, without any verbal skills at all.  He still just has a few signs he knows.  Caring for him is like caring for a 1 year old.  You have to watch his every move.  He can't be left alone much.  He needs help with almost everything.  When I've said as a mom, I wish I could freeze time and keep them little longer, this is not what I meant.

104.5

Last night Doodle had a really high fever and kept pointing to his head that it hurt.  You can't tell how miserable he was by this picture I took tonight, just 24 hours later.  He is a completely new kid!  (I know the picture is time stamped 12/18 because I can't figure out how to fix it...so I digress)  He woke up yesterday morning at 5:00am burning up and he barely slept all night, he kept waking up and crying.  What scares me the most about him pointing to his head is that he is having mini seizures or maybe had a big seizure while he was sleeping.  How would I know? 

What I do know is that this poor little guy has been sick 80% of his life.  He is constantly fighting something and there is something seriously wrong with his immune system.  But what?  The last time he went to the doctor, we specifically asked his pediatrician Why and How he could be so sick for so long and this many times a year-- this can't be normal.  She told us that it is normal for kids his age...What the? And that kids get 12 viruses on average a year.  Hmmmmm.  I don't remember Jimmy being sick like this, at least once a month.  Are there just that many more strains of viruses going around?  We had his tonsils and adenoids removed when he was two because of how often he was getting upper respiratory infections, colds and sore throats.  The surgery hasn't seemed to decrease the amount or level of sickness in him.  Whatever the reason, it has turned me into a real germaphobe.  I find myself washing my hands several times a day and I carry hand sanitizer with me wherever I go because I am so afraid I am going to bring something else home to him from the grocery store or somewhere. I almost refuse to use a public restroom unless it is imperative or 100% necessary and completely unavoidable and when I do, I don't touch anything with my hands.  I pull my sleeve over my hand and I flush with my foot.

I don't worry about things like his lungs and fevers that much on a daily basis because we have a nurse every day except Saturday that checks him and takes his vitals, so in a way I feel like he is getting good medical care at home.  But, when I went to call the Doctor to see if I should be worried about him holding his head, I went to the Nursing Log and checked the last few days to see if he had been running a fever and maybe they forgot to tell me.  Each day the nursing log said 97.5 degrees.  Which struck me as a little weird that his temperature never fluctuated, even on days when I knew he was sick and felt warm to me.  I went to find my ear thermometer (like the one the nurses use every day) and I noticed the battery light was on.  I left Doodle with the nurse and went to the drugstore to get new batteries.  When I came back the Doodle was sleeping.  The nurse left and told  me he was fine, sleeping it off and that his temperature was 97.5.  A couple of minutes later, I went into the bedroom to check on him and saw that his breathing was really fast and I felt him and he was burning up.  I put the new batteries in my thermometer and he had 103 fever.  I checked it again about 10 minutes later and it went up to 104.5.  I checked the thermometer that the nurses had been using and guess what?  Yup.  It told me he was 97.5.

Brain damage can begin at 105 degrees and with fevers come seizures, so at this point I am freaking out.  I immediately called the doctor and he had me give him a full dose of children's Tylenol and children's Motrin at the same time.  He said if his fever didn't come down to 101 or lower to bring him to the Emergency Room.  Ugh. I was sick to my stomach. So I waited and waited and finally his temperature dropped to 99.  Scary.  Even scarier?  A nurse that doesn't check the batteries in the thermometer and doesn't find it peculiar that a very sick and hot boy's temperature is 97.5 just because the thermometer says it is.

No Place Like Home

Just took a trip to Dallas for work.  2 nights away from the kids.  I thought it would be fun and exciting visiting a new city, staying in a nice hotel and getting some really good, solid sleep without a sweaty little four year old's head on my chest, waking up with his hair in my mouth.

Nope.

The hotel was really cool, the Magnolia Hotel in the old Historic Pegasus Gas Building in Downtown Dallas. 

But, it was work, and I had to work long hours.  And it was cold.  And I got some bad news about a friend's parents dying in a plane crash on my way to the airport.  And then I couldn't stop thinking our plane was going to crash.  And then we got snow-delayed coming back.  And I came home more exhausted then when I left, fighting a cold and sore throat.  I tried to fight the negative thoughts, but they won. I know, I need to stop complaining. I'm lucky to have a job in this economy.

I guess I'm not cut out to be a world traveler.
I miss my boys too much.

Back to Reality

We had a great time on our family vacation to Palm Springs.  We stayed at Grammy and Papa's vacation home. 10 hours in the car with a Doodle Bug, he was ready for the jacuzzi.

He loved the warm water.  Makes me think we need one here...but then I'd always worry that he would escape and find his way in there; like it might be a new OCD for him, so we'll settle for a warm bath for now.

The weather was nice, much warmer than it has been here.  I forgot what short sleeves and sunshine felt like.

We hung out and relaxed and didn't have to be anywhere or do anything.  We went to a movie and out to lunch.  Grammy and Papa watched the Doodle overnight so that we could attempt two days in Disneyland.

Coffee and Go-Girl Energy Drinks.  Even tremendous amounts of caffeine could not prepare us for the record Holiday Crowds at Disneyland...it was sold out! Two days in a row!  We pulled up to the hotel and saw these big flashing traffic-type lights that actually said:  'DISNEYLAND SOLD OUT'.  I wanted to cry--we had just left the Doodle back in Palm Springs and now we were in Anaheim, stuck paying for a hotel, with no place to go.  Luckily, or rather, unluckily, the hotel had two day park hoppers--so we were thrilled!  We checked in and took a shuttle over to the park...where it was so unbelievably over-crowded that it was even more heartbreaking.  News reports estimate that there were 80,000 to 100,000 people there.  The lines were wrapping around everywhere.  You couldn't tell where one ride's line started and another one's ended.  The pirates of the Caribbean ride was 2 1/2 hours long.  So we left. It was miserable and it's not fun fighting crowds like that--Disneyland was a bust.  Jimmy was really disappointed and I felt so bad for him. We had been looking forward to this trip! Obviously we knew it was going to be crowded...we expected holiday crowds.  But this was not manageable.  They way over-sold the park.  They could have stopped selling tickets about 25,000 people earlier and been just fine financially.

It's really hard to be in a bad mood when you're in Disneyland.  Something happens once you arrive.  But, I've never seen so many pissed off people at the Happiest Place On Earth--you could see the frustration on the sea of people's faces; usually it's happy and magical; this time it was just stressful and ridiculous.

 Jimmy put on a brave face--and took it like a man.

We considered attempting another nearby amusement park: Knott's Berry Farms or Universal Studios, but it was getting late and there was no guarantee the crowd situation wouldn't be the same everywhere, after all, it was during a holiday break.  We went back to the room and Jimmy picked a movie to watch...then we went to a Van's Skate Park and an outdoor mall. 

I bought him a couple of video games to make up for the let-down of Disneyland...

We had a nice dinner outside at the Fresh Market, Shirley Temples and Clam Chowder. So we did our best to make the most of our trip.  The next day we met Grammy and Papa in Ontario, they brought us the Doodle and we made our way home (10 longgggggggggggg hours home).

It didn't help that the Doodle got really sick while we were there.

Jimmy and Doodle were really happy to be back.  There really is No Place Like Home.