Say It Aint So

"Popular estimates of the divorce rate of parents of children with autism are 80 percent and above," said Lori Warner, director of Michigan's Beaumont Hospital's HOPE Center, which works with children who show signs of autism.

"Parents of children with autism are at higher risk for anxiety and depression," Warner said.

No shit lady.

I can attest to both of those opinions, it does put a strain on your marriage (and most other relationships); especially if one person feels like they are taking on the brunt of the care and the other one doesn't help out so much. Or care as much. Or get involved as much.

And you do get worn down to the point of depression because you can never fully understanding the WHY in this. You can't help but feel responsible. Even if you don't feel responsible for the autism condition constantly asking yourself how you could have prevented it? You feel responsible for bringing this little person into the world who now has to cope with all of these challenges for the rest of his/her life.

One of my favorite Hollywood couples just broke up. I thought they were the perfect couple and had it all. The Queen Spokesperson for DAN! Doctors and Autism advocate and America's funny guy announced their break up over Twitter.

Just two months ago, on Valentine's Day, Jim Carey hired a plane to write "J Hearts J" across the Los Angeles skyline to his girlfriend Jenny McCarthy. He had said that her son, Evan, taught him how to love.

Jenny McCarthy has openly discussed that the stress of their son's autism is why she and her first husband, John Asher, divorced in 2005.

But this time around seemed different. She seemed to have nothing but support and love from Jim Carey. She was so involved in autism awareness and Jim Carey was always by her side.

She concludes that she cured her son of autism with diet, detox and therapies; which would mean that the speculation that the stress of autism contributing to the break up is a bunch of hooey. Right?

Torn Between Two Lovers (feeling like a fool)

I've been fascinated lately with reading blogs about Autism and what other families are going through on account of I know no one who is going through this personally. Obviously, the Autism Community is divided into two groups: to vaccinate or not to vaccinate. You're either a Jenny McCarthy Hater or Lover. You either believe in the magic of detoxification or you do not. You either believe in the power of the DAN Doctor or you don't. There is no happy medium.

With all of the books on Autism I've read in the last year and a half, I would have to say, I'm leaning in the direction of Camp Jenny McCarthy. I've read and read both sides, I've listened to radio shows and watched numerous CNN reports and even self-diagnosed the Doodle with Autism after watching Jenny on Oprah. I've heard the inappropriate comments of Dennis Leary and the like and seen the Amanda Peet Public Service Announcements. And my non-lesbian crush really does find truth in most of what Jenny McCarthy is saying. It's not just her big blue eyes, large breasts and celebrity that have captured my attention, it's the fact that while she may not be a Physician, she is most definitely an expert on Autism. Anyone who has lived or raised a child with Autism is well on their way to becoming an expert in Autism and that's more than I can say for our Pediatrician.

While I do not believe that you can "cure" Autism, I believe that you can conquer it. I think you can improve the behavior and affects of Autism by making some necessary changes early on and I do believe that not every child is the same or has the same metabolic and immune system. We've known that for years. Why are some kids more prone to Cancer? Or allergies? The Flu?

I think that the things in our environment, including the plethora of shots we inject into tiny, fragile bodies without first knowing if there is something wrong with their immune system is careless and if I had a do over I would have waited to find out. I would have also spread out the vaccinations. Why do they need to give so many at once? Woulda, coulda, shoulda. When your child has a virus or fever, the Doctor sends you home from your well-baby appointment and advises you to come back when the baby is healthy for their shots. Why then do these Doctors not take their own advice at birth and test the baby for infection, virus, etc. before they go giving them their first round of shots when they are already protected at birth by the mother's antibodies. Why are there more than 5,000 open cases in our US Court system about regression after vaccinations?

What if your child is terribly allergic to certain foods; i.e. wheat, dairy, corn, nuts and the allergy is causing or contributing to these autistic and developmental symptoms? What if the child has leaky gut or a severe build up of candida, heavy metals, vitamin/mineral deficiencies or a viral infection? What if? What kind of parent would I be to not want to have my baby at least tested? Why does the Doodle have a bloated belly, digestive issues, sleep disorders, seizures, dark circles, tantrums? What if maybe I couldn't cure the Autism but at least make my child more comfortable in his skin and feel better by changing his diet, detoxing him or giving him supplements? What if it worked even just a little?

I'm going to probably get shot for saying this but, I've observed another huge difference in the "Great Divide", it would be the attitude, energy and hopefulness that Team McCarthy exhibits vs. the more surreal Doom and Gloom of the non-believers. I know this for sure, we're all struggling as parents of Autistic children in one way or another and if something can help, what harm is there in trying it?

Even with my horrible first experience with a DAN Doctor, I'm not going to give up. I will find another one or two or ten in our area and get the Doodle tested once and for all. So that I will know if there is something remarkable going on with his little system. If not, fine. I can cross it off my list.

On a lighter note, the Doodle drank out of a cup for the first time tonight. It was a bit of sensory overload for him and sure he was wearing most of his milk on his shirt but the encouraging thing was he wanted to do it again and keep trying. Maybe that was the OCD in him, but it would be so nice to have him off the bottle before he turns 3. Trying the sippy cup put the Doodle into a 2 day emotional tailspin so I'm hopeful for the cup.