Diet Update

If money were no object, would I get some liposuction? Absolutely. Would I have my boobs put back where they used to be? Yes. Would I have a tummy tuck? Probably. I still can't understand why you can't get a tummy tuck and C-section at the same time. Just wait until a Doctor figures out a way to do THAT! Think about it, you already have the scar.

Because inquiring minds want to know...Am I still on my diet? Yes. Do I still eat? YES...I just ate my will power tonight in the form of an ice cream bar. This ice cream bar was, however, at least a Skinny Cow ice cream bar. So the guilt isn't as crushing as usual. But I did just eat it and it's 10:25 pm so that probably wasn't a wise choice considering I'm trying to lose weight.

Have I lost any weight? Well, it's hard to say. Now I have my two scales sitting side by side in the bathroom. I still weigh myself twice a day, naked in the morning and naked in the night. I do my best to avoid the mirrors but I am weighing a different weight on each scale by about 3 pounds. If you take the amount I weighed when I first started this diet I have lost 7 pounds on the old black scale, if I get on the new white scale then I have lost 10 pounds; so for obvious reasons I like the white scale better. If I want to lose even more weight, I just go over to my mom's house and use her scale. There, I've lost 12 pounds. Are you confused yet? Me too.

The problem is the weight isn't coming off very fast and being the control freak that I am, I like things to happen right away. I can remember dieting in my twenties and dropping 10 pounds in 6 days. Currently it is taking me over a month and a half to lose seven pounds, or ten pounds. Kind of frustrating.

I'm by no means starving myself but I am making better food choices. I'm eating a lot of salads and no creamy dressings, the dressings I have are made with olive oil and don't have more than 4 grams of fat per serving. I'm eating leaner meats and my snacking is reasonable. If I'm craving something sweet, I eat a weight watchers cake or 100 calorie bag of some kind of snacky thing. I drink my coffee in the morning with a Luna bar and low fat yogurt and for lunch I will have a Lean Cuisine or a bowl of cereal. So I don't think the weight is not coming off because my body is in starvation shock hanging on to my fatness because it thinks something weird is going on. I have a lot of fat to keep my body going for a very long time; I don't think it's worried about starving any time soon.

I went and walked tonight with my beautiful friend, Michelle. It wasn't my usual 40 minute 1 mile "stroll" with the kids on the flat part near our house where my heart rate only elevates when I'm trying to keep the Doodle from taking off into oncoming traffic. This was a real workout in a very hilly neighborhood and did I mention, there were lots of hills?

So walking with a friend, I can honestly say, is like not really exercising at all because even though I got pretty winded and thought about calling 911, we were talking the whole time and catching up so it didn't feel so much like exercise. An hour + walk went by lickity split. I've decided in order for a walk to feel like it's not exercise, you need to 1.) walk with someone you like and 2.) walk with someone you like.

I love that I exercised without it really feeling like exercise. It's almost like I got away with something, like I cheated exercise...except I will surely feel it tomorrow.

Spinning

I went to my first spinning class today. That's me in the back row barely able to stand up and pedal because I forgot how to exercise and ride a bike. It's been that long.

I told you I was serious this time though. I've got to lose some weight. I've given up most everything that has been getting me through the worst of my days...dangerous amounts of chocolate, Starbucks delicacies, fast food, pasta, bread. Have I lost my mind?

I'd give up sugar altogether but who am I kidding?

When I handed the girl at the front desk at the gym my membership card she looked at me with the strangest look, like maybe she had heard about me. in one of her employee trainings...like I was some kind of a legend. Angela, the girl that has been paying monthly dues for a gym membership but hasn't been in two years. That's some kind of record. I thought bells and buzzers were going to go off and confetti and balloons were going to drop from the ceiling upon my check in.

But I went to the gym today and broke a sweat. And thank goodness I didn't run into anyone I knew. The class was really hard and even harder than that was the seat. I've gone on bike rides before and never has my butt hurt so badly; maybe because I weigh so much more now. The class was physically painful and there was no clock in the room and I don't wear a watch so I had no idea how long 45 minutes took to go by but it seemed like 6 hours. Next time, I hope to go with someone. My friend Rosie is a frequent "spinner"; maybe I can get some motivation or tips from her. They say you're more likely to work out if you have a partner or someone to push you.

Will I go back? Absolutely. I need to get in shape. I'm tired of feeling miserable and avoiding mirrors. Next time I will wear some serious padding in my pants, maybe one of the Doodle's diapers and I won't tie my shoe laces so tight that I get a foot cramp.

This weight loss thing is not easy and I'm the type of person who needs to see results right away or I get discouraged and I'll go eat a baker's dozen of donuts to show "them". So I'm hoping if I can kick start my metabolism with a few work outs and continue to be careful with what I eat I will see results and that will be enough to motivate me to keep going. It's been almost 3 weeks of some serious food discipline and I'm still not losing the weight I thought I would by now.

The new scale isn't helping either. I think it should go back.