I Said NO.

And, I'm going to keep saying it. It's hard this parenting thing;






















especially parenting an autistic child.

Lately the Doodle has been really hard. And behaving badly. And that's most of the time.

He's out of control and he's only 3.

You wouldn't know it by this picture but he's the Dickens.

I think he goes in and out of anxiety attacks and doesn't know how to deal with what he's feeling. You can see it coming on and sometimes there is no trigger or reason. He breathes differently. He gets overly excited. He runs around the house, flapping more than usual and then...

he throws anything in his path. I've seen him clear a table full of dishes. Sometimes it's just because he's been told NO.

He hates that word.
If you just met him you would think what a brat! Actually, even those who know him think, what a brat! But we cut him a little slack because of the autism and the seizures and knowing it must be hard to be a Doodle Bug.

His teachers and nurse think he must be getting frustrated because he can't communicate and talk. I think that might be part of it but it's hard to tell what is bad behavior and what is autism. The lines are so blurred I don't know which end is up anymore.

We seriously chase him around the house telling him NO. All he hears from us all day long is:

"No. Stop it. Put that back. Don't touch that. Don't you throw that. Knock it off. No more. Get back here. Get out of the refrigerator. Stay out of the oven. Close that. You want a time out? Go in the corner. Stop!"

They have a rule at his special ed preschool where they do NOT tell the child NO. Excuse me? They try to do positive reinforcement and redirect the child and they feel NO is too negative. I'm sorry but NO is NO and is part of life and I'm not on board with that one. What am I protecting him from by not telling him NO? Did the word NO ever kill someone? Does hearing the word NO guarantee you a place at the Therapist's office? When my child does something he's not supposed to, guess what? He's getting told NO and sent into some kind of time out. Even if his time outs are only for 3 seconds, at least I'm making an effort.

The Doodle knows when he's doing something wrong. He knows right from wrong. He looks at me with such contempt when he's doing what he shouldn't--be it ripping a book, playing in the oven, escaping out the front door or throwing something on the floor. I truly think he lacks any self control and is very impulsive, maybe that's the autistic part. He can't stop certain actions and needs to finish or he gets a little nuts.

It's gotten to the point where I look forward to bedtime. At least when he's in bed, he doesn't have his helmet on and he knows he can't get down (although now he's getting down anyway). He lays on the bed and then we go through some more bad behavior until he poops out and gives into sleep. Ahhhhh, a sleeping Doodle--but there's only calm for a little while; until he wakes up screaming or startles himself with one of his episodes that I still don't know if they are seizures or not.

And then we wake up and begin the whole bad behaviorness (is too a word) all over.