Hypocritical Parenting 101

I must be the worst parent and worst example there is.  Years from now, when Jimmy grows up, I'm sure he'll remember my famous last words: "do as I say, not as I do". 

"Jimmy, stop yelling."

"But Mommy, you always yell. Every day."


Jimmy, I know it's hard but try to patient with your brother."

"But Mommy, you have no patience."


"Jimmy, you need to go to bed, you really need at least 8 hours of sleep."

"But Mommy, you stay up until 2:00 am all the time."


"Jimmy, it's not nice to swear it doesn't make you cool."

"Then why were you screaming those bad words at that lady in the other car?"


"Jimmy, you can't just eat junk.  You need to eat your vegetables."

"But Mommy...why aren't you eating your vegetables?"


"Jimmy, you don't have to spend every single penny you have just to be spending it."

"But Mommy..(big sigh)...oh never mind."