Patience is a Virtue

During a random breakdown the other day, I was talking with someone about the Doodle, his autism, his seizures and what my life has become--in a nutshell. 

Yes, a nutshell I said....no punn intended.

Anyway, we were talking about deep things like Karma.  And I mentioned that maybe these things that were happening (to us) were happening for a reason, maybe it was a form of Karma and I am being paid back for something I have done.  My friend disagreed, although it should be mentioned that she does believe in Karma, she said that God does not punish.

Then why does this feel like a punishment?

She went on to say things she thought I wanted to hear...things like God gave me a special needs child with challenges because he knew I could handle them.

Ok.  I guess.

Although, I don't handle them very well.

She said that God gives special people, special circumstances and sometimes they come in the form of a special child.

She couldn't have put it any nicer and I know she was trying to make me feel better.

She said that God has a plan and that there is valuable learning and teaching going on here (in my life).

I thought about that for a minute and agreed.

Kind of.

Yes, I am being taught something from all of this.

What exactly that is I am not too sure of.

At first I thought maybe I was supposed to learn about tolerance and patience and maybe I am.

But it's not working very well.

I was flipping through a local Junior College schedule of classes, thinking maybe I'd like to learn an art or a foreign language--maybe take a photography class.

Then it hit me. I had an epiphany.

The class I need to take the most, they do not offer--at any school.

They do not offer classes on learning how to be patient.

Maybe it's a genetic thing.

Maybe it's a learned behavior.

Whatever it is, it is a gift; oh yes, and a virtue.

All I know, is that somehow I did not get that personality trait.

I think I must be one of the most impatient people I have ever known.

And I think it's getting worse, not better as I get older and worry more.

You would think having a special needs child would help me learn patience.

Nope.

The worst and most ironic part is that I fear I am too impatient to ever learn patience.