Ever look at two things that seem so close but they are going in completely different directions?
Maybe a friendship? Maybe your marriage? Maybe your children?
But wait, it's not supposed to be this way. This wasn't how you'd been imagining it in your dreams. You'd think these things are so closely intertwined that they would at least intersect somewhere?
That's how I feel about my children.
They share the same blood line.
They have the same color hair.
They're both tall like their dad.
They're both stubborn like their mom.
Same family, same house. But they are at completely different stages in their lives. Sometimes I look at them and can't believe the differences. They're opposites really and it becomes so clear to me.
I know there are obvious differences...age alone would explain that because they don't have much in common. But with having one "normal" child and one autistic child there are even more differences; it goes way beyond age and interests. You can't even imagine them. There are so many things Jimmy cannot begin to understand about the Doodle...and likewise.
The difference is Jimmy WANTS to understand and desperately tries and tries; the Doodle may never have that same interest or desire with Jimmy. Jimmy can put out a lot of effort to engage the Doodle yet the Doodle only engages with him on HIS terms. There are times where the Doodle will initiate contact and I know that he loves his big brother, but it's not a big priority for him...like say, a bag of Doritos or the channel changer.
It's kind of the same with the new dog. The Doodle could care less about the dog and refuses to even make eye contact with him.
I watch Jimmy try so very hard to be close to the Doodle and to be seen by him; it's rare that he gets much back. That must be hard. I'm hoping that will improve with age; that the Doodle will be more tolerant and seek his big brother's attention and love.
I hope that Jimmy doesn't give up on him.