Taking Health for Granted

Our poor little Doodle with the bad behavior.

He's been sick. Again. With what I thought was just a minor cold. He's had the usual runny nose and cough but last night when it was time for bed, he couldn't calm down. The last couple of nights we have fought with him to settle down and go to sleep. He thrashes around the bed, moaning and humming and crying and refusing to go to sleep.

Last night, after he finally wore himself out and went to sleep, he was agitated and breathing hard. His breathing never subsided even after he went to sleep and was fully relaxed. He was huffing and puffing and panting like an out of breath dog would do. He was grinding his teeth and clinching his eyes shut. Every once in a while he'd hold his breath and stop breathing. I was freaking out and just watching him.

He couldn't breathe through his nose but yet couldn't figure out how to breathe through his mouth either so he would stop breathing but still be asleep. Then he would wake himself up in a fit of coughing and choking.

After 20 minutes of his breathing never relaxing or calming back down to normal and my sitting there watching him, wondering if he was having an asthma attack or worse, I decided to take him to the emergency room. It was around 11:30 pm.

He woke up fine and was doing a little better at the hospital. His breathing was somewhat back to normal. We waited and waited to be seen at the oh-so-fun emergency room and after over an hour and a half of him screaming, I finally decided to leave. We were never seen by the Doctor. He was getting so upset, I thought he might have a seizure and the constant crying was making his runny nose a stuffy disgusting mess. At this point, I was just making it worse for him.

Bad Mom.

We got home around 1:00 am and miraculously he went to sleep pretty quickly. He went to sleep, I did not. I kept having visions of him not breathing and dying, so I slept with one eye open and never really went to sleep. I was watching his chest move up and down and trying to listen for his breaths.

All day I have been exhausted.

I took him to his Pediatrician this morning because all night I thought he might have pneumonia, asthma or maybe the Swine Flu. Luckily he didn't. He just has a virus. Obviously he has a very weak immune system and I wish I could figure out why.

As I lay there watching him sleep last night, all kinds of things were racing around my head. I was trying to figure out what percentage of this little guy's life has been spent being sick, being poked and prodded in the hospital, getting xrays and eegs and mri's, and how much of his life he has had just feeling sick--whether it be from seizures or the medication or both. My guess would be at least 75% of his life has been uncomfortable for him. I never thought before about taking good health for granted, it makes me realize it's not a given.