Today we took the boat out to the lake. We brought the Doodle out with us this time knowing we would only be out for a few hours. Jimmy was all jacked up to wake board again. It was unbelievably windy today once the fog wore off.
"The lake was angry my friends, like an old man sending soup back in a deli".Any Seinfeld fans out there?
I forgot what a challenge it was to pull the boat off the trailer and drive it back on with a squirmy Doodle in my lap. He loves to grab the steering wheel and jerk it back and forth which didn't help me much either.
Within minutes of launching the boat, I was listening to the Doodle scream because either:
1. He wanted to drive the boat by himself and I wasn't comfortable with that;
2. He hates his new hair cut (more about that later);
3. The sun was blinding him and I forgot to bring his shades;
4. The strap from the life jacket was riding up his ass;
5. He was tired of listening to Kenny Chesney whine about life passing by;
6. All of the above.
I'm pretty sure it waas #6. Jim was parking the truck and trailer so he didn't get to enjoy the full effect of the Doodle screeches, although he mentioned he could hear them from the parking lot.
I had just lost a contact lense and I was already ready to go to back to the confides of home but our day had just begun and, little did I know, would only get worse from here.
The Doodle fussed while we drove around the lake looking for a place to have our picnic lunch. I don't think he liked having the wind blowing in his face. He was unusually anxious.
We tried a few different places and then the Doodle calmed down a bit. For a minute. Jim took him to the back of the boat to put his feet in the water. He loved it.
He was kicking and laughing until he scraped his leg on the swimdeck...then he wanted to go in the water, so after a huge production of getting his swim diaper on, and Jim jumping in the water to take him in, he changed his mind.
Jimmy decided he wanted to wake board and I was fantasizing about being at home in bed watching Dora the Explorer and eating a Krispy Kreme baker's dozen of donuts at this point.
Taking the fun wrecker is not relaxing at all. Everyone is on edge. But we keep trying it because we feel bad and guilty when we leave him at home, after all, he is part of our family, fun wrecker or not. Perhaps we are delusional or maybe overly optimistic and unreasonable with our expectations of him and what he can tolerate. In our minds, it's so romantic to think we can have a fun family day at the lake...or at the beach...or at the boardwalk...or at the park...or at a restaurant. Almost every time the Doodle proves us wrong.
It would seem like the Doodle would have so much fun riding in the boat and being out on the water in the sunshine with three of his favorite people in the world. It's got to be better than being cooped up in the house in our bedroom on the carpet or bed all day and night.
So we made our way back to the ski area so that Jimmy could wake board. Remember I said it was really windy? Well, with wind comes rough and choppy water. It was like an ocean with little white caps. So to make a long story longer, Jim ran over the ski rope and the rope broke and wrapped around the propeller...
Jimmy was out in the middle of the lake with his wake board, drifting and getting further and further away from us because of the wind. I was fighting the Doodle for the orange flag, he wanted so badly to throw it in. Jim had to swim out to get Jimmy. The Doodle was crying.
Now we were stuck out in the middle lake with a disappointed 9 year old who didn't get to wake board, a tormented and overstimulated Doodle Bug, a very frustrated Jim, a severed rope and a usually tense ME wishing we would have never came. But it's Sunday and at least we had Garbage Night to look forward to.
Jim magically got the rope unstuck off of the propeller and we got the hell out of Dodge as quickly and uneventfully as possible. On the bright side, I can report that no digital cameras were destroyed at the expense of our "fun" today at the lake.
With that said, I can't wait for Fall.
And, I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I totally botched the Doodle's hair and not in a good way.
I'm calling Mark Burnett tomorrow to tell him I have a new challenge to give his Survivor contestants on the next show...Give them epileptic autistic toddlers and make them cut their hair; who ever gives the best hair cut whilst the child screams, kicks, grabs the sharp scissors, poops their pants, has a seizure and throws up WINS. The tie-breaker can be cutting their fingernails. Anyone can eat bugs.
For obvious reasons I would not have won this challenge. Dominic's hair has never been more more lopsided. I was cutting it because it was getting shaggy and it's so hot and sweaty wearing that helmet every day in the heat. This is the hair cut to end all hair cuts.
I thought I was doing him a favor. Jim says he now looks even more "special". But I say, it's nothing a fabulous Coach beanie can't cover up...