Conversation around our dinner table might sound something like this...
Jimmy: You know what I like about being me?
Me: What's that?
Jimmy: I don't have to wear one of those handy caps like the Doodle.
Me: You mean the helmet?
Jimmy: No, the Handy Cap.
Me: You mean, handicap?
Jimmy: Yeah. Those.
Me: A handicap isn't something you wear, it's something you are.
Jimmy: Never mind.
##################
Jimmy: Mom, can you get dressed tomorrow before you pick me up from school?
Me: What? I get dressed every day.
Jimmy: You get dressed in your pajamas. Can you put some pants on?
Me: Jimmy, those aren't pajamas...they're sweats.
Jimmy: Then why do you wear them to bed?
Me: Hmmph.
########################
Jim: So, Jimmy, what's with the all the exercise all of sudden? What motivated you to work out?
Jimmy: I dunno what expired me.
##################
Jimmy: Mom, why do you wear a baseball hat everyday, are you going bald like dad?
Me: No,just grey.
Jimmy: Wow. That's even worse.
##################
While eating breakfast...
Jimmy: That's pretty sad about the Doodle.
Me: You mean about his seizures?
Jimmy: No, how he can't eat toast. Toast is one of my favorite things to eat.
Me: Doodle can eat toast.
Jimmy: No, you said he was black-toast intolerant.
Me: OK, but, no, it's lactose intolerant.
Jimmy: Huh?
Me: His stomach is sensitive to dairy.
Jimmy: Oh. (pause) Well, the seizure thing must be a bummer too.
#################
Jimmy: Mom, are there such things as stink bugs?
Me: I guess so.
Jimmy: So, do they really stink?
Me: I guess so.
Jimmy: Worse than me?
Me: Probably.
Jimmy: Wow! That's a lot of stink.
##################
Jimmy: Hey Mom.
Me: Yes Jimmy?
Jimmy: Those glasses don't look so good on you.
Me: .......
Jimmy: Why do you wear them all the time?
Me: Uhm, because I can't see without them.
Jimmy: (pause) Oh, then they look really great.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment