All Jacked Up and No Where To Go

Not sure what to do about divvying up the dosage of the Doodle's medication. When I give him the larger dose in the night, he won't sleep for HOURS. He lays in bed thrashing around, kicking, crying, screaming. It's not so bad when I give him the morning dose because, well, he's busy being 3. But at night, within 5 minutes of giving it to him, he's climbing the walls and he doesn't come down off his Depakote/Keppra Cocktail High for at least 2-3 hours.

Tonight around 8:00 pm I had to drive to my bosses house which is about an hour away. My mom drove with me and we brought the Doodle since I had just given him his medicine and we knew he wouldn't be going to sleep anytime soon--he was freaking out in his car seat; doing a weird scream, covering his ears and shaking his head back and forth so fast I thought he might jar something loose. My mom got in the back seat with him and tried her best to entertain him. She fed him and played with him. I couldn't get home fast enough. What was I thinking? I keep having these moments where I can't believe I brought him somewhere and regretted it but it was too late to un-do it.

I've read on the website from real people with epilepsy how mind altering these drugs are; that they cause ringing in the ears, anxiety, irritability, insomnia, blurred vision and many more side effects. How can I possibly begin to tell what the Doodle is feeling or which side-effects are affecting him? I know they make him crazy. I know they make him anxious and unable to sleep. But what else?

I've talked to the Doctors about spreading out his dosages, so that I am not giving it to him all at one time but they don't think that is a good idea. I could try switching his medication to a different one...but the side effects of those are said to be even worse and could be more life threatening.

His seizure activity has been much less than usual. We had a few completely seizure free days and then just a few break-through seizures here and there on the other days. Today he only had one that we know of. Much better than the previous 40-60 per day we were seeing.

Although, I'm still waiting for that other shoe to drop.

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