Tipping the Scale

As nervous as I've been, I was being so optimistic and hoping that the last two seizure free days meant something wonderful. Like maybe the medicine was working or we had a miracle cure. Hopeful that the Doodle was finally getting a break. And then it just happened. Minutes ago, sitting here on my bed with me, he just had a head-drop seizure and within minutes another one. Does this mean they're back in full force? There is NO way to tell other than we will just have to watch and wait. The Doodle's seizures are totally unpredictable and completely random. No rhyme or reason to them, makes me want to eat a cookie.

Speaking of cookies, I went to my first Weight Watcher's Meeting and Humiliation Weigh-In this afternoon. I sat in the intervention section and I felt like I didn't have to say anything to the group, it was pretty obvious why I was there. So I just listened and clapped for all of the people with willpower just saying no to Chocolate for breakfast.

What I'm hoping works about Weight Watchers is that as bad as I am with math and keeping track of points, at least I can eat real food. I'm not required to be really strict with what goes into my mouth, just how much and when. So if I want to eat a donut, I just know I will have to make up for it later with some points reduction. I tried Weight Watchers about 6 years ago when I was hooked on Starbucks Vanilla Frappucinos and I would drink 2 or 3 of those in the morning and be out of points by lunchtime. So, we'll see.

It's a little bit humbling standing on the scale in front of a complete stranger. When she told me to get on the scale I started taking off my hat, jewelry and shoes. I handed her my tiny earrings and then I looked at her deadpan and asked her if it was OK if I got naked for my weigh in. I think she thought I was serious. I can't believe what I weigh. Our scales at home have to be so off, maybe it's the altitude. If I want to lose an instant 6 pounds, I just have to weigh myself at my mom's house.

So right now, I'm doing a tally of points in my head for my daily points and I think I'm already over. But there's always tomorrow, right?