The Vicious Cycle of a Seizure

It's a vicious cycle having epilepsy and being a toddler. Here's the irony in it all-

FACT: The more seizures you have, the more you are going to have. This is why the doctors are loading him up on every anti-seizure drug they can think of. Except, in the Doodle's case, the medicine is NOT working. We only get to experience the awful side effects of these medications. Or is it working? Maybe he would be having more than he's having now. How would I ever know?

FACT: You will have more seizures in the heat or if you get overheated, yet I have to keep a hot, sweaty helmet on the Doodle most of the day. Since the heat from your body escapes from your head, I am trapping the heat in by keeping a helmet on him. If the Doodle gets too hot, he will not sleep or take a nap. Lack of sleep is a main cause of seizures.

FACT: Getting really upset can cause seizures, but not being able to do the things he loves the most like getting down and playing causes frequent melt-downs and fits. He can easily cry himself into a seizure.

FACT: Sometimes the side-effects of the drugs are worse than the actual seizures. Blurred vision, loss of balance, loss of speech, headaches, nausea, diarrhea, agitation, night terrors, other types of seizures, insomnia, etc.

FACT: Having seizures like this all day long prevents a child from cognitive learning. If their brains are constantly mis-firing it is almost impossible to get through to them in the way of teaching new things and having them understand.

FACT: Having seizures like this all day long, prevent the child from exercising, walking, running, and climbing. Their muscle tone, balance, coordination and motor skills suffer. Most toddlers with this type of epilepsy will regress terribly.

Seizures are cruel, debilitating and senseless and I am growing to hate them more and more with every breath I take. Please don't tell me that God has a plan or that there is reason for everything or that I am meant to learn something from this. There is nothing harder than watching this beautiful, innocent little boy suffer all day long and live inside this vicious, ironic cycle he can't get free from.