Well, today marks the day where I got out my box of maternity clothes. To wear again. No, I'm not pregnant, just fat. I wish Jenny Craig would stop calling me. I'm considering changing my phone number.
I've always been a pet person. I love animals, dogs and cats alike. We tried a black lab puppy for one day last year when Jimmy started pestering about getting a dog. It was a disaster. We found this dog on Craigs List and I ended up driving him back to his house at 10:30 pm on the same day we got him. Too much work. This dog, as most, had a ton of pent up energy and our yard is not fenced so what the hell was I thinking? Jimmy tried taking him for a walk on the leash and came back in with road rash. The dog had drug him about 30 feet. And then there was the Doodle to consider. Dom had no concept of steering clear of the dog. The dog was trampling all over him with his big giant clumsy puppy paws. So it was goodbye to the dog idea, maybe in 10 or 15 years.
We lost our cat Kramer two years ago to cancer. He was a beautiful long haired mix - with white and tan. A very good cat we had for 15 years. Jimmy's hands and elbows had healed since the dragging incident, so we decided to try another cat. After searching the pound and discovering that it is now $120 to adopt a kitten, we tried our old friend, Craig (as in Craigs List).
We found a cute little $20 black and white spotted nuisance and we named her Coco (as in Chanel). This was going to be Jimmy's moment to prove how responsible he was as a pet owner. Ha! That lasted about two weeks, then the newness wore off and then the destruction began. The little curtain crawler started freaking out to go outside, she would now be an outdoor cat. Then she changed her mind, wanted to come back in so she would scratch the screens on the screen doors and now they are in shreds.
This brings me to the point of this story...my stories sometimes digress. The little slut got knocked up at 9 months old and had four kittens, that I was able to easily get rid of with the help of my friend Craig. All but one. The last dreadful kitten who no one in our family has time for. Jimmy refuses to take care of the kitten, who we'll call Side-Kick and the other whore of cat Coco. So on top of the rest of my domestic duties and caring for the Doodle I am now back to changing a cat box and feeding the little bastards who have been locked in the upstairs bathroom for nine long weeks.
Coco needs to be fixed immediately now that she stopped feeding the kittens and this other little Side-Kick needs to find a new home. I offered Jimmy $100 to part with the kitten. He said NO. Who the hell in charge around here? I'm giving him one more chance and then that kitten is going on Craigs List.