Play

Tonight was one of those nights I will remember and treasure.  It's the kind of memory I will be able to conjure up the next time I'm feeling hopeless and alone.  Nothing earth shattering happened, mountains didn't move but it is one of the few moments I've had where things have felt alright with the Doodle.  I hate to use the word normal because I'm not convinced there is any such thing, but for a few moments it felt like what it must feel like to feel a sense of normality; to have two typical children, playing together; understanding each other and genuinely enjoying themselves without chaos and confusion.  Jimmy sat down and did some serious floor time play with the Doodle with a toy and I could hear them having fun, laughing, giggling and being beautiful boys together.  Jimmy kept his interest for over a half an hour which is a huge milestone,I didn't want this moment to end.  The Doodle was very engaged and playful with Jimmy--he more than tolerated him.

I would look over at them and quietly observe their little happy faces because I felt if I made eye contact with the Doodle it might distract him.  I kept waiting for him to be tired of playing or get annoyed with Jimmy and he didn't.  He just kept on playing.  He wanted more in fact.  No big tantrums, no weird meltdowns or throwing of anything, nothing weird happened that punched me in the stomach of living with autism.  It was a simple act of playing that I witnessed that gave me the nugget of hope I needed today.

Sigh-