"If and When were planted, and Nothing grew." ~Proverb
July 25th will be here before I know it and I can't decide on whether to have a birthday party for the Doodle. He's going to be Four. For most parties, I get a sitter or have the Nurse take him away--because he gets so crazy and overstimulated and I can't relax or be a hostess. I need more arms to hold him and legs to chase him and Jimmy still thinks I have eyes in the back of my head which I really don't. So, I can't really have a birthday party for him and have him not here, that would be wrong on so many levels.
I think, well, I should just keep it small, immediate family and close friends--people that understand and get it and expect it and don't sit there with mouth dropped open to their chest when they see or experience his behavior; because if you aren't used to it or ready for it, it's a lot to take in.
Then I think, who am I really doing it for? And why? Is is out of guilt? Or just obligatory? It's not like the Doodle will know if he doesn't get a birthday party. As long as he gets a cupcake and to blow out birthday candles for a couple of hours and gets that birthday song sung to him over and over, he will be happy; until we distract him with Doritos and have to hide the candles.
But I do want to celebrate his birth and his little life; as hard as it was (and is). Maybe he's a miracle, and what's not celebrate about that?
Jimmy of course wants to have a Big Giant invite everyone party--
So I need to decide.