Girlfriends and Retail Therapy

I'm making a commitment to myself these days to try not to be such a homebody. If I get really analytical about it, since the Doodle's seizure disorder struck a year and four months ago, I haven't felt much like leaving the house and because I work from home, I don't leave the house to go to work either. Basically I am home at least 95% of the time. I pop out for groceries or a garage sale and sometimes to my bosses events but mostly I'm at home.

So I sit at home, worrying mostly. My job is my biggest escape. I have work to take my mind of things, but I would say the last year + has been my worst experience with depression. And for me, with depression, comes weight gain.

How's the diet you ask? Well. According to the old black scale, I've lost between 12 and 14 pounds; my pants are looser and I don't feel as puffy. Just 25 more pounds to go and I'll be good! At this rate, by Christmas 2014 I should almost be there.

I had an epiphany. Part of my depression and weight gain is because I don't get out. I don't go places. I don't do much of anything. When you look like crap all the time and feel like crap, it makes me not want to see anyone. I don the hat and glasses, no make up and sweat pants. I venture out to Safeway and keep my head down in hopes I won't run into anyone I know. Pretty soon I'm going to be locked away in a closet living the reclusive life of Howard Hughes. Soon, I'll stop all hygiene and refuse to clip my nails. Ick.

I need a plan. And with the help of my good friend Michelle, she has been encouraging me to get out and walk with her. It's nice girlfriend time. Catch up time where I can talk about girl things; crap Jim doesn't want to hear or have the gumption to even try to understand.

We walked tonight and then went to the Mall. It was so nice to shop at a real store like Macy's without trying to pretend that I don't have an impatient screaming child with me or try to pretend he's someone elses...

It's been so long since I've shopped at Macys that I had forgotten what great sales they have. 75% off of the INC. line which is one of my favorites. So I walked and shopped--and bought 2 dresses, a blouse and a coat for $99 including tax. I was stoked and $99 is a small price to pay for temporary happiness.

The only bummer is that I'm still buying fat clothes. I don't want to be this size anymore. But it felt a little bit like a reward and something for ME. On the bright side I steered clear of Mrs. Fields and Orange Julius because the OLD me would have gone to the food court first and I wouldn't have just stopped at one milk chocolate without nuts cookie, because did you know if you buy 4 you get the 5th one FREE? But I held tight to my willpower and spent my money on clothes I won't wear instead.

Do I sound a little crazy? Sure but at least I'm not in denial. I've got that going for me.

Retail therapy really is a great diversion when you're feeling kind of crappy about things and every once in a while who doesn't need a diversion from the pains of LIFE? That's the magic of Macy's.

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