You Know You're a Mom When...

You plan your day according to when Blues Clues is on.
You have signed important papers before with color crayon, Midnight Blue to be exact.
You’re Spanish is getting quite good thanks to Dora and Diego.
You consider sitting in traffic alone, “me time”.
You find Cheerios in the weirdest places.
You know which part of your shirt to wipe a nose with and have no one the wiser.
Vomit does not phase you.
You have no problem smelling your child’s butt to see if he’s poopy.
You actually use the word poopy.
You take your child’s shoes off once you get into the store rather than have to hunt for them later.
Your car keys have something very sticky all over them.
You know all the words to Goodnight Moon by heart.
You actually like to eat Goldfish as a grown up snack.
You curse people if they call during naptime.
You now refer to your own mother as Grammy.
You feel a sense of accomplishment to have put a bra on for the day.
You have dried spit up and/or snot on the shoulder of your sweater and frankly, you don’t really care.
You keep your favorite baby sitter’s number a secret from fellow moms.
Going to the grocery store alone is equivalent to a luxurious spa vacation.
You consider parenting to be the best job in the world.

How about you? Have any to add of your own?


  1. From a different perspective:
    You must be a mother if-
    Your first name is now "dude",
    Your taste in clothing always receives an up-turned nose and yet your clothes still disappear from your closet, your personal belongings are "fair game" (including your bed), You've mastered the appearance of being interested yet completely non-reactive to every appalling story you might be told, you've single-handedly fed the entire high school football team for "Big Guy Dinner", Your home is prone to spontaneous live rock concerts at the most inopportune moments(like when you were planning on having sex on a Friday night), Your own parents are just using you, you're secretly planning out all the plastic surgery you'd like to have performed on yourself but it has to wait until after your bladder surgery.

  2. Oh yea, and my favorite:
    College guys are checking out your bod for informational purposes only- to make sure the girl they're dating is not going to become fat down the road.