Things I've Learned This Weekend

Things I’ve learned this weekend:

The Doodle lives by the rule, "pants optional".

You should call ahead and preorder food as if it were going to be to go when taking the Doodle into a restaurant. Even at fancy IHOP.

The Doodle does not appreciate the economic value of a going out of business sale.

Husbands aren’t always the sharpest knives in the drawer. I’m just saying.

Scrapbooking tweezers work just fine to pluck eyebrows.

If the Doodle can reach it, it’s too close.

I now know every Backyardigan song by heart and actually like them. Surfs Up, "Go Daddy" is my favorite but I can equally rock it out to "We're Knights That's Right".

Going to the grocery store alone is now comparable to a 2 day spa vacation at the Canyon Ranch.

Seizure medication does not work. Still.

My feet have grown 2 sizes in 10 years, I'm no Cinderella.

Yreka Bakery spelled backwards is...Yreka Bakery.

When the red gas light on my car goes on I have exactly 12 miles I can drive before I need to stop and get gas.

There are 26 hours left of school next week and then I will have a 4th grader.

Joanne Fabrics will take a competitor’s coupon. There is a God.

Tooth brushes do not flush well.

I love my family more than anything despite their quirkiness and challenges.

Color crayons do not come off the walls very easily.

Being alone is different than being left alone.

You cannot leave washed clothes in the washer for more than 4 or 5 hours or you most definitely have to rewash them.

If you cannot find the channel changer chances are it might be in the oven where the Doodle left it.

The digestive system of my nine year old should be in the Guinness Book of World Records.

The term walk in closet no longer applies when you cannot walk in there because of all the laundry on the floor.

The Kitty can only take so much squeezing from the Doodle.

My Spanish has greatly improved since watching Diego and Dora episodes back to back to back. Hola Amigos. And, that Diego is a really loud talker and in the right light resembles Enrique Iglesias.

I haven’t had a pedicure in six months. You do not want to see my feet in sandals.

Waiting for lab results is like watching paint peel.

Being a mom is a really hard job to get right.

Dishes don’t do themselves unless your mom comes over. Thanks Mom.

My nine year old saw me naked and said eeeeeewwwww.

There are 320 calories in a Mrs. Field’s Chocolate Chip with Macadamia Nuts cookie and I ate 3 of them this weekend. Sorry Jenny Craig.

And, the last thing I learned this weekend…wait for it…wait for it…

Calgon baths do not take me away.